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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Letters from Adrian: #1

Me meditating in my bed
Dear Dash,

Lately you and your mother have decided to make me a schedule. You of course have not consulted me, the sole person to feel the monumentous impact of this on my lifestyle. Therefore, I have spent long hours at work meditating in my bed to find the perfect schedule. Here it is:

10:00 AM: Wake up. Of course, this is not rigid, and will be changed to my needs.
10:15 AM: Eat. The DOG ( Diet Order Group) says the suggested amount for a dog my size and age is 5 bowls of chicken and lamb.
10:30 AM: Finish eating. Lie in sun. Also sleep.
11:00 AM: Come in. Get petting session.
11:30 AM: End of petting session. Jump in bed. Sit and stare mournfully at you for not getting more food and longer petting session.
12:00 PM: Go out.
12: 30 PM: Come in.
1:00 PM: Go out.
1:30 PM: Come in.
2:00 PM: Go out.
2:30 PM: Come in.
And so on until:
6: 30 PM: Clamor for walk.
7:00 PM: Go for walk.
7:00 PM - 7:40 PM: Happily mark territory and sniff every single little atom of object I can get to.
7: 40 PM: Come back home. Run around in the back yard, then collapse in bed and mournfully look at you and wonder whose idea the walk was anyway.
7:50 PM: Sleep.
Repeat.

Please take note and execute accordingly, and also realize the sacrifices I have to make for you. Yes, I almost starve and never get any love from you, but still I hang on faithfully. Woe is me.

Love,
Adrian


5 comments:

  1. Dear Miss Kerrie,

    Thank you! At least somebody in the cruel, cruel world understands me!

    Love,
    Adrian

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where can I get more information about DOG? I need to lose some weight and enjoy the process.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. The DOG does not make any comment about weight loss. If you want, you may want to access the group HUMAN (HUnger is MAwkish and Noctilucent) for weight loss instructions.

    Love,

    Adrian

    ReplyDelete