Adrian's Pointers on getting petting and love

Hello. I am Adrian. I have had 6 long months of experience in manipulating humans' emotions to get petting. This guide will help you do so too in 7 simple steps.

1. Look sad. This manipulates your caregiver to sympathize with you, obtaining a resulting higher level of petting and love.

An example picture:

2. Show strategically placed areas of your body. These will give your caregivers the giggles, which will then inspire them to give you petting.

An example picture:

3. Look like you've been mowed down by a tank. See 2.
 
An example picture:

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4.  Look like a black bean (or long bean). This gives you an impression of cozyness and sleepiness, which humans find irresistible.

An example picture:

5.Give your caregiver a "cute" look. This should fit whatever the caregiver thinks your personality is, as otherwise they will get worried and not put all their energy into petting you.
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  6. If your caregivers go away after a while, try to restrain your joy until they have gone out of earshot. Then, loudly celebrate. But always be on the lookout: if (hopefully not) they come back, pretend you have been anxiously waiting for them.

An example picture:

 7. If talking to humans, make your r's and l's w's.

Example sentence:

Could you pwease give me some wiver tweats?




These are my Pointers on getting petting and love. If you have any more Ideas, please comment below. Thank you for reading my humble guide.