Three Men In A Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

You're taking a pleasant night stroll along the Thames.  Ah, the cool air, the lovely flowers- when all of a sudden you notice a great commotion on the coast of a little island in the water. It is one of those boats with covers, and the fellow in the boat has gotten himself wrapped up in the cover.
Then you see another fellow get knocked down, struggle, and also get all tangled up, and a third person has to help them out.

You have just encountered Three Men in a Boat, by Jerome K. Jerome. It is about the comic adventures of three good friends and a dog going on a trip on the Thames.

Here is the list of main characters:
J.: The narrator: extremely poetic, a hypochondriac.
George: A sluggard and bank clerk, also a hypochondriac.
Harris:  Down-to-earth, another hypochondriac.
Montemorency: A fox terrier, loves to fight.

This book was greeted with such approval that Jerome K. Jerome wrote a sequel, Three Men on the Bummel, which follows the same group of men on a bicycle trip in Germany. It's still funny, though perhaps not as funny as the first.

The Wikipedia link on Jerome K. Jerome is here.
 
I hope you enjoy Three Men in a Boat.

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Book Review: Lord of the Flies

You are voyaging in your yacht when you see a lush island. A swath of trees have been cut down. As you get closer, you can see little figures moving around the beach. You suddenly hear a loud, sharp sound.

You have just stumbled upon the island of The Lord of the Flies by William Golding. In this book, a group of schoolboys crashland on an island. Their leader, Ralph, has to deal with growing discontentment, and soon, the island is taken over by a violent group of hunters headed by Jack, another member of the group.

William Golding served in World War II, possibly providing the inspiration for the book.

 In this book, my favorite character is Piggy, because he is the most intelligent.This book will be disturbing to young readers, as it describes a graphic death, so I would suggest that parents make sure their child can cope. It is a short read, but it is quite good. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Adrian's Pointers on getting petting and love

Hello. I am Adrian. I have had 6 long months of experience in manipulating humans' emotions to get petting. This guide will help you do so too in 7 simple steps.

1. Look sad. This manipulates your caregiver to sympathize with you, obtaining a resulting higher level of petting and love.

An example picture:

2. Show strategically placed areas of your body. These will give your caregivers the giggles, which will then inspire them to give you petting.

An example picture:

3. Look like you've been mowed down by a tank. See 2.
 
An example picture:

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4.  Look like a black bean (or long bean). This gives you an impression of cozyness and sleepiness, which humans find irresistible.

An example picture:

5.Give your caregiver a "cute" look. This should fit whatever the caregiver thinks your personality is, as otherwise they will get worried and not put all their energy into petting you.
An example picture:

  6. If your caregivers go away after a while, try to restrain your joy until they have gone out of earshot. Then, loudly celebrate. But always be on the lookout: if (hopefully not) they come back, pretend you have been anxiously waiting for them.

An example picture:

 7. If talking to humans, make your r's and l's w's.

Example sentence:

Could you pwease give me some wiver tweats?




These are my Pointers on getting petting and love. If you have any more Ideas, please comment below. Thank you for reading my humble guide.

A Little Droplet of that heady liquor known as Knowledge that envelops you in a delightfully psychedelic vision of Grandeur that befuddles you and leads you to your doom, as poured out by Dash, the all-knowing sage whose rules you should live by and whose works will be preserved for all of the future generations to study

One plus One is three.

A Little Pearl of Wisdom, rescued from the Oyster of the Soul, as created by Dash, the wondrous Poet whose Poems give meaning to Life

Growing Up

Growing up is like playing sports:

both pulverize your heart.

One in the sweeping realm of the mind,

the other, in the brutal reality of life.

Letters to Adrian: #1

An innocent victim of your malicious ways

Dear Adrian,

Hello, I am N.H. Goose. I am writing to you about your frequent mauling of me and my friends. These incidents began last January, when you attacked my friend B.(Bacon) Bone. There you were, a savage, huge, monster black as the pit of Tartarus, with gashing, wrenching teeth and savage claws and talons the size of swords. My friend fought bravely and, by the skin of his teeth, survived. Next to fall prey to your malice was my friend P. T. (Purple Tennis) Balls. Then another and another! You were unstoppable! Then, you attacked me. I was just a little milquetoast, mawkish, bystander then. I had done nothing to you.

See? Evil, fiendish, horrendous brute!

But you, you hell-hound, you freakish nightmare, you baby-killer, you didn't care. You mauled me, you tore at me, you bit my tail! And see? Look at the damage you have caused me. My neck has been cut, my stuffing is flying out, and your caretaker--who is as bad, if not worse, than you--has removed my vocal cords! And now he says he cannot find them! My vocal cords are not something to just be lost like a TV remote control!  And this is all because of you. You insolent brute, you wolf, you!
So, you have forced my hand. I am suing you for $100,000 general damages, as well as
$1 million punitive damages. See you in court!
 Regards,
Nearly Headless Goose