Life in the Inanimate: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

You are voyaging with Captian R. Walton in the Arctic in the good ship, hoping to find a important discovery to make you be remembered and go down in history. Ah, the glory! Then something very peculiar happens: you sight a huge man in a carriage on the ice. Who could it be?

You have just seen the monster of Frankenstein, the "villain" of Mary Shelley's book. In it, a college student finds out how to give life to the inanimate. But things take a turn for the worse when his creation becomes evil...

This book is interesting, as we see how all the circumstances culminate. However, it's very sad, especially at the end. The book is very different from the popular notion of Frankenstein ( for instance, lightning is never actually mentioned as being used in the life-giving process.) The book goes into detail in just the right amount, without being either under- or over-informative (in contrast to Moby Dick).

The book started as a idea of Lord Byron's that he and his next-door neighbors and fellow writers Percy Bysshe Shelley and Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin, who was under 19, should all write horror stories. Mary was the only person to fulfill the idea, writing Frankenstein.

The book is suitable for all ages, but may upset younger children.

I hope you enjoy Frankenstein.

Three Men In A Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

You're taking a pleasant night stroll along the Thames.  Ah, the cool air, the lovely flowers- when all of a sudden you notice a great commotion on the coast of a little island in the water. It is one of those boats with covers, and the fellow in the boat has gotten himself wrapped up in the cover.
Then you see another fellow get knocked down, struggle, and also get all tangled up, and a third person has to help them out.

You have just encountered Three Men in a Boat, by Jerome K. Jerome. It is about the comic adventures of three good friends and a dog going on a trip on the Thames.

Here is the list of main characters:
J.: The narrator: extremely poetic, a hypochondriac.
George: A sluggard and bank clerk, also a hypochondriac.
Harris:  Down-to-earth, another hypochondriac.
Montemorency: A fox terrier, loves to fight.

This book was greeted with such approval that Jerome K. Jerome wrote a sequel, Three Men on the Bummel, which follows the same group of men on a bicycle trip in Germany. It's still funny, though perhaps not as funny as the first.

The Wikipedia link on Jerome K. Jerome is here.
 
I hope you enjoy Three Men in a Boat.

UFO Bumper Stickers

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Dalek's Bumper Stickers will not offer refunds on bumper stickers damaged by iron rain, meteorites, dust devils, or other such natural phenomena. 

Book Review: Lord of the Flies

You are voyaging in your yacht when you see a lush island. A swath of trees have been cut down. As you get closer, you can see little figures moving around the beach. You suddenly hear a loud, sharp sound.

You have just stumbled upon the island of The Lord of the Flies by William Golding. In this book, a group of schoolboys crashland on an island. Their leader, Ralph, has to deal with growing discontentment, and soon, the island is taken over by a violent group of hunters headed by Jack, another member of the group.

William Golding served in World War II, possibly providing the inspiration for the book.

 In this book, my favorite character is Piggy, because he is the most intelligent.This book will be disturbing to young readers, as it describes a graphic death, so I would suggest that parents make sure their child can cope. It is a short read, but it is quite good. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Adrian's Pointers on getting petting and love

Hello. I am Adrian. I have had 6 long months of experience in manipulating humans' emotions to get petting. This guide will help you do so too in 7 simple steps.

1. Look sad. This manipulates your caregiver to sympathize with you, obtaining a resulting higher level of petting and love.

An example picture:

2. Show strategically placed areas of your body. These will give your caregivers the giggles, which will then inspire them to give you petting.

An example picture:

3. Look like you've been mowed down by a tank. See 2.
 
An example picture:

-

4.  Look like a black bean (or long bean). This gives you an impression of cozyness and sleepiness, which humans find irresistible.

An example picture:

5.Give your caregiver a "cute" look. This should fit whatever the caregiver thinks your personality is, as otherwise they will get worried and not put all their energy into petting you.
An example picture:

  6. If your caregivers go away after a while, try to restrain your joy until they have gone out of earshot. Then, loudly celebrate. But always be on the lookout: if (hopefully not) they come back, pretend you have been anxiously waiting for them.

An example picture:

 7. If talking to humans, make your r's and l's w's.

Example sentence:

Could you pwease give me some wiver tweats?




These are my Pointers on getting petting and love. If you have any more Ideas, please comment below. Thank you for reading my humble guide.

A Little Droplet of that heady liquor known as Knowledge that envelops you in a delightfully psychedelic vision of Grandeur that befuddles you and leads you to your doom, as poured out by Dash, the all-knowing sage whose rules you should live by and whose works will be preserved for all of the future generations to study

One plus One is three.

A Little Pearl of Wisdom, rescued from the Oyster of the Soul, as created by Dash, the wondrous Poet whose Poems give meaning to Life

Growing Up

Growing up is like playing sports:

both pulverize your heart.

One in the sweeping realm of the mind,

the other, in the brutal reality of life.

Letters to Adrian: #1

An innocent victim of your malicious ways

Dear Adrian,

Hello, I am N.H. Goose. I am writing to you about your frequent mauling of me and my friends. These incidents began last January, when you attacked my friend B.(Bacon) Bone. There you were, a savage, huge, monster black as the pit of Tartarus, with gashing, wrenching teeth and savage claws and talons the size of swords. My friend fought bravely and, by the skin of his teeth, survived. Next to fall prey to your malice was my friend P. T. (Purple Tennis) Balls. Then another and another! You were unstoppable! Then, you attacked me. I was just a little milquetoast, mawkish, bystander then. I had done nothing to you.

See? Evil, fiendish, horrendous brute!

But you, you hell-hound, you freakish nightmare, you baby-killer, you didn't care. You mauled me, you tore at me, you bit my tail! And see? Look at the damage you have caused me. My neck has been cut, my stuffing is flying out, and your caretaker--who is as bad, if not worse, than you--has removed my vocal cords! And now he says he cannot find them! My vocal cords are not something to just be lost like a TV remote control!  And this is all because of you. You insolent brute, you wolf, you!
So, you have forced my hand. I am suing you for $100,000 general damages, as well as
$1 million punitive damages. See you in court!
 Regards,
Nearly Headless Goose

How to make an "Eye Popper"

Origami is the art of folding a piece of paper, with no cuts or tears, into a shape. Today I will teach you how to fold an origami "Eye Popper."

The Eye Popper

1) Get a square of six inch origami paper. If it's not origami paper, it's OK; you can just cut a six inch square from a piece of printer paper.
(Note: if you are using printer paper, choose one side to be the bottom side. The bottom side is the side I refer to as "white" below.)
2) With the paper white side up, fold the paper in half along its diagonal. Make sure to crease well after this step. This should create a right triangle.
3) Fold a corner of the right triangle to its top vertex.
4) Flip it over and repeat step 3.
5) Take the result of step 4 and look for a large pocket in the middle. When you see it, flatten it down. It should form into a right triangle with a second layer. This is called a waterbomb base.
 6) Fold the top down until it touches the bottom of the base.
7)  Fold the bottom of step 6 behind step 6 to reach the top of step 6.
8) Fold the bottom of step 7 in front of step 7 to reach the top of step 7. Crease all folds well.
 9) Unfold the whole thing and make sure the paper is white side up.
 10) Take the first crease from the top and pinch it until it sticks up. This is called a mountain crease. (A valley crease is the precise opposite; a crease that sticks down.)
11) Repeat 10) for the other three sides of the paper and flip it over. It should look like a table with short legs.
12) Repeat 10) and 11). It should look like a smaller table with longer legs.
13) Repeat 10) and 11). It should look like a tiny table with long legs.
14) Take step 13) and fold the two legs on one side back and the two legs on the other side back. It should look like a double headed arrow cut in half with a square in the middle.
15) Now, open up the top end of a side of 14). (Note: There are two pockets: One that is white inside and one that isn't. Open up the one that is white inside.)  Push the top in until it lines up with the white ridge inside. This technique is called a inside reverse fold, and is very common in origami.
16) Repeat 15) on the other white-inside end pockets in 14). It should now look like a rectangle cut in half with a square in the middle.
17) Open up a no-white-inside end pocket and squish down the top. The two triangular flaps should be flapped one to each side to form a square. The squashed top's sides should line up with the top sides of the no-white-inside pocket.
18) Repeat 17) on all. It should now look like an irregular hexagon with small shapes inside.
19) Fold the top of the four small squares (Note: There are two on each side) down to form four white squares.

Sound the trumpets! You are now done with the "Eye Popper".

Operation: Take one side's two small squares and use them as holds for your fingers. Squeeze them forward and bam! The "eyes" (the two white squares on the other side) pop! Not so impressive? Well then, take the front side and pinch the top and bottom edges together, and presto! the two "eyes" pop on either side! If you want, you can draw little black dots as pupils for the eyes. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the "Eye Popper."

Letters from Adrian: #1

Me meditating in my bed

Dear Dash,

Lately you and your mother have decided to make me a schedule. You of course have not consulted me, the sole person to feel the monumentous impact of this on my lifestyle. Therefore, I have spent long hours at work meditating in my bed to find the perfect schedule. Here it is:

10:00 AM: Wake up. Of course, this is not rigid, and will be changed to my needs.
10:15 AM: Eat. The DOG ( Diet Order Group) says the suggested amount for a dog my size and age is 5 bowls of chicken and lamb.
10:30 AM: Finish eating. Lie in sun. Also sleep.
11:00 AM: Come in. Get petting session.
11:30 AM: End of petting session. Jump in bed. Sit and stare mournfully at you for not getting more food and longer petting session.
12:00 PM: Go out.
12: 30 PM: Come in.
1:00 PM: Go out.
1:30 PM: Come in.
2:00 PM: Go out.
2:30 PM: Come in.
And so on until:
6: 30 PM: Clamor for walk.
7:00 PM: Go for walk.
7:00 PM - 7:40 PM: Happily mark territory and sniff every single little atom of object I can get to.
7: 40 PM: Come back home. Run around in the back yard, then collapse in bed and mournfully look at you and wonder whose idea the walk was anyway.
7:50 PM: Sleep.
Repeat.

Please take note and execute accordingly, and also realize the sacrifices I have to make for you. Yes, I almost starve and never get any love from you, but still I hang on faithfully. Woe is me.

Love,
Adrian

Dog Eggs!

Are you lonely? Do you feel your life needs a new companion? Well, now you can have one instantly with our new product, Dog Eggs! Yes, for a limited period you can get these marvelous objects!
How to hatch:
Place in front of bowl of raw meat.
Egg will open magically and meat will disappear.

Look for these breeds:
Cavalier King Charles (Pictured)
Great Pyrenees
Labradors
Pugs
Dachshunds
German Shepherds
Border Collies
Get yours today!
We are not responsible for cuteness overload,
death by bad breath, and missing socks. 
Address: Belly Rub. Inc, Tailwag, CA, 98176
Phone Number: 123-456-7890
Not for eating.
 

Semicircles and 13s

Here are two puzzles:

1. Mr. Farmer has two goats, Abel and Betty. Each is tied to hooks on the center of separate walls.  The area over which one goat can graze is a semicircle. The combined area over which the goats can graze is 8 2/4 π m². Mr. Farmer has decimalophobia, meaning that he doesn't like decimals. In fact, he only agreed to the 8 2/4 π m² because there was no more land to spare, and Mrs. Farmer assured him that the wall measurements are integers.  

What is the sum of the wall's measurements?

2.  How do you make 13 using 7, 9, 2, and 5? Note that you may use the 2 three times.

A new little mathematical riddle

Here's a new little riddle.

1. A goat is tied to the corner of a rectangular shed that is 3 units by 4 units . Its rope length is 7 units.
The area over which it can graze is N(pi) units squared,where N is a whole number. What is N?
Thanks for reading!
Regards,
Dash

The ABCDFG Puzzle

Here is a new puzzle.

1. The ABCDFG Puzzle

List the first seven letters of the alphabet. Take out the E. Now, find a word that, when placed after each letter in your list, forms a sequence of letters that sound like words.

Thanks for reading!
Regards,
Dash

The Forgetful Con Man and CCGV

Here are two word puzzles.
1. Why are these 4 words so interesting?
COTTON
CASHMERE
GENERATE
 VASELINE

2. The Forgetful Con Man
Once upon a time, there was a old con man. He had two identical twins, Anthony and Alex, both of whom were very rich. They didn't know he was a con man.
This con man was very forgetful. Whenever he was going to do something, he would inevitably  have forgotten it unless he wrote it down on his reminder board.
Now you have all the information, here is the puzzle:
One day, the con man had to make a very hard decision. After much thought, he decided, "I'll do it." Hesitantly, he wrote a reminder on his reminder board. Then the con man looked at the reminder, and realized he could rewrite it to save space on his board. So he erased the reminder and rewrote it.

Here is what he wrote. What was he going to do?

Hint below.

Thanks for reading my blog!
Regards,
 Dash















Hint: The two straight lines are trisectors of the figure below them.